Being Lost

It’s good to regularly put myself in the shoes of a student, so I remember what it feels like to struggle with learning something new that doesn’t necessarily come easily. Last weekend, at the ESCIP workshop, I learned how to use some python tools that I could potentially incorporate into my chemistry courses. Although I can code, I do so sparsely and poorly. It’s enough to accomplish my research goals. Pre-internet, I learned haphazardly through reading other people’s code (end users like myself) and reading books. These days, a quick search on the syntax for what I want to do is usually sufficient.

 

I don’t remember how I learned to break down a problem into code. I can do it in an old-school inefficient way. Some things in python are familiar, but many things are new to me – including the thinking process of formulating one’s script. So I’d consider myself a novice learner with some ancillary background, and I’m comfortable using the command line and the old-school vi text editor. Jupyter notebooks are new to me, but I’m trying to get more comfortable with them because I think they will work well in a classroom setting.

 

The main live-coding sessions were superbly taught, and I had no problem following along and even had time to consider the pedagogy being used by someone who is experienced in conducting live-coding workshops. However, I later attended an optional session on how to incorporate some special features into python code aimed at making interactive simulations (similar to PhET). This was facilitated by another faculty member (who may not have as much experience in teaching live-coding), but the pace was a little too quick in some places, at least for python-novice me. I got stuck at a particular point, and as I was trying to wrap my head around the problem to fix it, the instructor kept moving along. When I looked up a minute or two later, I was lost. I was lost for the next ten minutes and stopped typing anything and just looked up to try and absorb as much as I could, although it felt like I was in a daze.

 

That’s when I had my epiphany of being lost in class. I’m sure my students sometimes have this experience because the pace of my class can be intense. Missing a couple of minutes can sometimes mean feeling lost for the next fifteen. I didn’t want to interrupt the instructor because my quick scan of the room gave me the impression that most of the group were following along just fine. And I didn’t want to whisper to my neighbor for help. That must be how some of my students feel when they get lost. It is like being in a daze, and I was reminded of what that felt like.

 

Classes started this week and I’m trying to be extra careful about not going too quickly and being more cognizant about whether the students (especially those sitting further away) are following along. I’ve always incorporated strategic pauses into my classroom, but I’m trying to be more conscious about whether I’m leaving some students behind. This experience of being lost also opened my eyes to noticing the pedagogical differences between the experienced live-coding instructor and the (perhaps) less experienced one. Facilitating live-coding does require some different approaches in a classroom.

 

In the previous sessions where I was breezing along, I did notice others occasionally being lost (because I had the time to look around) but I didn’t feel it myself. Not feeling lost boosted my confidence that I could be successful learning python. My latter experience of being lost did the opposite and my confidence levels dropped. That feeling of efficacy as a student is important. I was challenged to consider the times when I had inadvertently made students feel that chemistry was too hard for them because they felt lost in class. Yes, there are students who are lost because they come to class unprepared and didn’t do the reading. But there are also those who feel lost because they had less background and confidence. And there are also those who did the reading, but are still puzzling over something I’ve said (or a problem I worked on the board), and then become lost when I move on. I need to do better. Being lost myself was a good experience and reminder.

 

P.S. As to my getting un-lost, I did catch up during a lull in the class while there was some Q&A discussion. I missed some technical parts, but I got the gist and recovered the confidence that I could figure some of these things out on my own.